GLOBAL STATEMENTS ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. Every marriage needs regular special times for do-it-yourselves marriage enrichment, and perhaps a 'marriage check-up' with another person/couple every few years at least

2. Each of us needs empowering friendships outside our marriage

3. Each of us needs empowering relationships in our vocational situations (but we don't always have our preferred needs met, of course)

4. Life for the vast majority of people has not been served up as we would have wished in many or most respects. A good life is all about accepting what can't be changed; courage to change what can be changed; and having the gift of wisdom to distinguish one from the other...

5. When it's tough-going, let us examine thoroughly all the options and work honestly through all the issues before even thinking about running away...

6. Every person needs a nurturing mother (and father) during childhood, and a nurturing father (and mother) during early adolescence. If those are not our experiences, there will be a void in our lives which we may fill with some sort of addiction (romantic/sexual, workaholism, pornography, gambling, substance abuse etc.)

7. Under-fathered males tend to have wrong attitudes to women - seeking unhealthy relationships with women-as-nurturers, or reacting with fear to strong women who may shame them, or treating women sometimes as objects for sexual (or imaginative) gratification

8. Sex with your partner should be playful, rather than simply 'goal/orgasm oriented'

9. When there are Big Problems (or even if there aren't), it's very wise to 'live in the now', in day-tight compartments

10. Gratefulness is the key to happiness

(Summary of random ideas put together with a client-couple)

Rowland Croucher